I must confess here that I’ve been away from this site and it has felt GOOD. I remember when I was going through tough times with my MS, I’d post at least once a week and tell my continuing story. Now not so much. And I’m thinking it’s because I’ve been doing relatively well with this condition. Things have picked up in terms of manageable employment and an opportunity to do a graduate program. However, I do feel the whispers of multiple sclerosis when I’m immersed in the “real world”, where things run at lightning speed and others expect me to juggle many tasks because that’s what grown-ups do. So being back out in the “real world” has been good but it’s also been a tad bit isolating: I don’t go at lightning speed and I don’t cram my schedule with too much to do. I’ve been burned by this in the past. So I have almost become more aware of my MS and how it makes me different when I am out with non-MSers. There’s nothing wrong with this— I know this in theory. But I do have a nagging feeling of, “I have multiple sclerosis” when I get out into the world. So it’s good and it’s not so good. This is my thought today as I manage to do homework and consider how I’m going to perform a watered-down schedule this week to keep up my strength. My inside world freely acknowledges this and I almost forget my MS. My outside reality, however, reminds me that I am a product of my multiple sclerosis and that I have adapted my lifestyle, for better or worse.
