I just came back from volunteering at the library and I’ve had a certain book on my mind. I read it during some MS relapses, just to remind myself of what’s really important. I’ve read it again recently because I’m probably jonesing for some good non-fiction and haven’t found any. Nevertheless, here’s one of my favorite books and the reasons why:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has simple, layman’s techniques for living a joyful, true existence. This Mexican spiritualist explains his Toltec beliefs that transform a life of suffering and sadness into a vehicle for optimism and growth. He uses four simple ideologies to help steer people in the direction of happiness, no matter what their circumstances:
- The first agreement is “be impeccable with your word.” It doesn’t quite mean what it implies. I initially thought it meant “don’t lie or make empty promises”, but it is quite a bit more. Ruiz explains that whatever comes out of our mouths should be honest but also pure in intention. People are guilty of slandering others and passing along useless gossip and negative energy. I know I’ve been guilty of such. Ruiz says the first step to happiness is to remove such verbal weaponry from your life. Then intention can become pure and true.
- The second agreement is “don’t take anything personally.” Sounds simple enough, but there’s more to it. Everyone has his or her own agenda, thoughts, background, personal situation, and so on. What comes out of a person’s mouth is merely a reaction to his or her own situation, and nothing to do with you personally. It might seem that way, but because we all have struggles and personal lives that are not completely apparent to others (usually), we can never take insults or ignorant responses personally.
- The third agreement goes naturally with the second agreement: “don’t make assumptions.” Again, Ruiz mentions, it is impossible to know everything about a situation or a person, so to assume things about others can make you take information or words personally. Then you become caught up in the vicious cycle of slandering and then being slandered. Tough, unproductive cycle. Ruiz suggests taking everything with a grain of salt, because you really only know fully about yourself. The rest of life is made up of other people’s realities.
- The fourth agreement (which is my favorite and probably a great mantra for people with multiple sclerosis): “always do your best.” This is just a matter of taking each day and giving honestly what you can. Today’s best might be venturing aided or unaided down the street. Tomorrow’s best might be intently reading a good book and gaining knowledge. Ruiz emphasizes the importance of achieving the first 3 agreements to leave the mind and body pure to accomplish one’s personal best. And one’s personal best is always enough.
I would add one more personal agreement that I try to follow: “have a sense of humor.” Because it’s gonna take a hell of a sense of humor to stick to the rest of the agreements! Find out more about The Four Agreements…
