Women have a tendency to form close bonds with other women. It’s an intrinsic quality and it seems almost necessary for emotional survival. Men have their bonding methods (the Superbowl, horseshoes, golfing, and smoking cigars), but women naturally gravitate towards other women for feedback, inspiration, and support. It’s not surprising then that ladies with multiple sclerosis often find themselves in close-knit circles such as support groups, chat rooms, message boards, and blogging communities. One such online group forms the basis for the exceptionally heartwarming book Women Living with Multiple Sclerosis.
Written by professional journalist Judith Lynn Nichols, this book tracks the online camaraderie of 20+ women who formed their own email support group after meeting each other through a message board. Nichols tells of her own 30 year battle with MS and discusses how it affected her child rearing and her marriage. Her career as a reporter was also affected as her disease progressed, and she found solace and understanding with this group of tough MSers, dubbed the “Flutterbuds” due to members’ memory flutters.
The group discusses such topics as cognition issues, constipation, sexual challenges, the common “But you look so good statement”, disability income, and working with multiple sclerosis. The beauty of this book is that each topic comes with a multitude of opinions, personal experiences, and solutions. Together, the group supports and encourages those who need it. It is a testament to true, deep friendship.
This book actually came into my life before I had a good idea of what multiple sclerosis was all about. I was in a state of denial for some time, because I could get away with seeming “normal” for a number of years. Now I find this book comforting because it makes weird, scary symptoms acceptable and okay as these women share their experiences with all of them. Nothing is too strange or crazy among this tight clan and readers will feel included in their understanding and camaraderie.
PS: There is an excellent sequel to this book, Living Beyond Multiple Sclerosis, which continues the story of the “Flutterbuds” and tackles new MS topics.
