I just came back from a much-needed, long weekend trip to Sea Isle City and Atlantic City, NJ. We had a family gathering at the shore with my mom’s relatives and saw some people we haven’t seen in a couple of years. Lots of fun and an appreciated change of scenery.
Both my family and I benefited from this visit. I learned from them that I need to push myself a little bit to get up earlier and do a little bit more (I have gotten slightly apathetic about going out or making a schedule this summer, probably because of the heat and the recent relapse.) Sometimes I have a problem deciding what I’m up for and what’s too much. Then I end up doing nothing. This kick in the butt has energized me and made me realize I just need to slow down but I don’t have to completely stop: people are becoming understanding of my limitations.
My family, in turn, has realized that I cannot do everything and run around wearing myself out like a crazy person. After getting up early and going with the flow for 2 days, I got up yesterday (after a Betaseron shot night) and was sluggish as we went to Atlantic City to gamble. My mom kept walking too fast, trying to squeeze in too much, and I reminded her that I am still slow and cannot walk all over creation. She’s starting to get it. Today we went to breakfast, then relaxed on the balcony of our rental and just enjoyed being. I didn’t overdo it and was able to make the drive home without collapsing at the wheel.
It’s hard to adjust to an ever-changing level of disability. With MS, it’s hard to tell what is transient and what is permanent. I am retraining myself to go forward and try to do things, but rest if I need to. My loved ones are starting to understand that although I used to be able to rebound pretty well from relapses, this might not always be the case, and to allow me my limitations and slower pace. My multiple sclerosis can set the pace for everyone and maybe help us all reserve our energy and not foolishly squander it. Maybe.
